This past week has raised many doubts within myself again for some silly reason. But, I’ve come to realize it’s not so silly, well it is for thinking them in the first place, but it is also a very normal experience to have these doubts in ourselves. The most important thing each of us can do though is to voice our doubts and fears, reflect on them in a positive and progressive way, and then just simply let them go.
2013 is becoming such an insightful year for me. Insightful in a way of not so much becoming aware of feelings, emotions, frustrations. But more in a way of seeing them for what they are and letting them go. I’m able to reflect and turn them into positives and action many things that I was holding back from last year. It’s funny I still feel totally overwhelmed, frustrated with my tiny steps forward, and like I’m not always giving enough to all the people and things I want to give to each day. But, I’m getting better at accepting and moving on. How are you finding 2013 in comparison to last year? Are you experiencing little positive shifts in your daily life experiences too?
I’ve been sharing a lot of these feelings and emotions with both my close girlfriends and my hubby recently. There is such a difference in the responses I receive from both of these people! I’m giggling now, as you probably are too. My girlfriends have been so wonderful and nurturing with their wise womanhood and inner wisdom that just comes so naturally when we share with our sisters. I think that’s one thing I’ve been a little scared of doing over the years; really allowing myself to open up to another female, and to also ask another female for emotional support.
And my hubby, hehee, totally opposite response, but wow, so incredibly supportive. I was quite surprised this week when I spoke to him again with how I’ve been feeling as I don’t always feel he hears me, or actually tunes into my daily experiences and the juggle of life that it is now normal for many of us. He was great! So supportive and this really surprised me. I’ve felt quite alone recently as he’s super busy again. I’ve almost felt like I’m living my life here alone without anyone to talk to at the end of each day. It shouldn’t have really surprised me that much, his response. He’s always been supportive of anything I do, and he was actually the one who pushed me to move away from Architecture and into my true hearts calling. I wouldn’t be here doing what I love now if it wasn’t for his support, encouragement, and BIG push. I guess all the stresses that we’ve experienced together these past few years have clouded our connection a little, but it was so nice to see it’s still there, nothing has really changed between us.
So today I’ve run around and done my chores nice and early and should now be sitting here working on some commissions that really need to be done. But, instead I just needed to share what was within and I also wanted to share this blog post by Rachel Power author of “The Divided Heart” the book that I spoke about here. It was such a poignant post to read, and really nice to hear each and every one of us experience the inner turmoil of trying to do it all and the juggling act that is life after birthing our munchkins. I often think to myself, well it would be so much easier to just be a housewife, a good mum and a great wife. But, no way could I do that, I’d go insane if I didn’t have an outlet to share who I am.
That’s it! We are woman who need those real life connections, those places and outlets to share who we are. Life these days isn’t so much about mothers and children getting together around the kitchen table to talk daily, or about family living in the same town to support and nurture one another. We all need to adapt to the changes in life, but still be aware of connecting and sharing who we are. We still need those strong connections and to open our hearts and share what’s within. We are not robots! Whether that’s sharing your inner self through a high-powered commercial business type role, or with a supportive new community through a mothers group, or through creative outlets, it doesn’t matter, but it’s so important for woman to allow what we’re feeling within to be voiced, to be shared and to nurture, lean on, and support one another.
A gorgeous, beautiful friend of mine recently said to me “Liza talk to me, whenever you need to, that’s what woman do, they talk and share and let it out and feel so much better for it afterwards.” I think that’s why my art came about and became such an important part of my life, because I didn’t know how to let it out. I didn’t know how to nurture my inner child and allow my voice to speak freely. I’ve always hesitated. This year I’m learning to do both though, through my art, but also through my heart and out into the open without fear. And it feels so darn good and freeing! So go for it. Take a little step forward, or a big proud confident one, and let your voice be heard. I promise you, it will feel fantastic and you’ll be flying freely again.