Ever feel like you’re living in Auto-pilot mode? Each day brings about a list of to do’s that are more like have to do’s. I know these to do’s are a part of my chosen life; wife and mama. I do actually enjoy most of these to do’s (could always happily give house-work and washing the flick though). It’s just that by the time you get through all of the day’s to do’s, there’s just not much time left to do the things I really love and passionately want to do.
Each day get’s a bit monotonous and frustrating. The weeks are flying by. Really, I’m sure that I go to bed on Monday night and suddenly it’s Friday morning again. I feel a bit like that lately. There’s always so much to do before I get to do what I really whole heatedly want to do. I feel a bit caged.
Sometimes I think my life would be a whole lot easier if I didn’t have any passion and urge to be creative, to give something back to the world and to others, to want to make some positive contribution through my life, to want to do for others and make others happy. I could quite easily fill my days and nights simply, well not so simply it’s certainly not that, but just being a Mum, Wife and home keeper / carer. There’s so much juggling, planning, scheduling, keeping up with, that it really does overwhelm me at times. I thought I’d chosen a fairly simply, wholesome, happy life, but why does it still feel so hard to accomplish all that I want to most of the time? And to carry out all of my to do’s properly? I find myself reflecting on these things all the time lately. Why is it such a juggle?
Here is how my day went today; I got up and dressed. Cuddled and chatted with my boys. Prepared and gave them their brekky and then changed them into their clothes for the day. Took them to daycare and settled them in. Home again, but still not quite time to sit down and feed myself or enjoy that cup of morning tea. On with a load of washing, clean the bathroom and toilet, as we had our book-keeper coming at 10am. Oh and don’t forget a quick sweep of the always dirty looking floors! Ok, now time to eat, so grab myself a bowl of muesli and fruit while I make my way through some emails and a couple of work related phone calls. Hang that load of washing out and put the kettle on. Time to fold the washing from 2 days ago.Cuppa made, which I enjoy while photographing and cataloging my gathered nature finds from the past few days. I really need to get on to sketching them, but seriously Liza, is that really going to happen today?! Nearly lunchtime and need some bread and supplies for dinner, so out I pop down to the local shops. Go to deli and fruit n’ veggie shop and also duck into the supermarket. Home again to unpack groceries and prepare lunch. Yay, in luck as Michael had begun to prepare lunch while I was out and I’m starving. Enjoy our lunch outside together in the sunshine (while it lasted) chatting about our day so far and what the future may hold. Just remembered I was meant to go and have blood tests this morning, woops, must ring after lunch and re-schedule for tomorrow morning. Wash up and empty the dishwasher from last night. Prepare dinner and make a big pot of home-made ham hock baked beans. Collect mail, wow what’s this? Very intriguing…
Have I got a secret admirer? If I do they’ve spelt my name wrong! Hmmm, this all feels a bit strange and Michael’s in the next room working…”Michael, I’ve just received this strange parcel, letter, thing?” …
Ok it’s 4pm, finally some me time to write this blog, review my surface pattern designs course material and work on some drawings. All before I dash out again to pick up the munchkins at 5pm. Home we come to bathe the boys while dinner warms on the cook-top. Wash, dress and feed the boys. Followed by books, cuddles, kisses and songs before they’re tucked into bed and off to sleep. Michael and I eat together and enjoy some quiet time and reflective conversations. Clean up after dinner, pop the kettle on and make some tea. Sit down for an hour to enjoy watching my favorite show that makes me laugh “Offspring”. Asher Keddie is hilarious! I could watch her all day long. It’s good to be taken away by some light entertainment for an hour.
Back here at my new little set up in the living room, on my computer to finish writing this post and insert the photos. But first more emails to respond too. I’m still receiving inquiries about Flora Bowley’s workshop which has now been full for months. Flynn has been stirring all night too. I’ve been in about 5 times now. He’s been thirsty and sometimes was still asleep, only dreaming and calling out in his sleep, but he’s now up and on the couch while I finish this before bed. I’ve just remembered, I’ve also not yet posted for you a blog post on my beautiful day out with a very thoughtful friend last weekend. Here is a photo from that beautiful day and I shall promise to share more with you soon.
So that’s my day. It’s full, it’s busy, it’s multi-tasking-thinking and probably similar to the days of many women and men. I just wish I had the time of two days in one. I could then enjoy some clear head space, more exercise out in the fresh air, more creative time to draw and paint and allow what’s within to come out and to really push this creative biz of mine ahead at the pace I want to. Then my days might be perfect (o”