I enjoyed a lovely Summer break at home with my boys and enjoyed fun-filled visits from friends and family. We were very much in need of some down time and relaxation by the end of last year. It was just wonderful to go at our own pace, enjoy each moment completely, have no distractions and reasons to pull us away from simply being and enjoying. I wish life could go at this pace all the time. I am aiming to find more of this balance this year as a family.
2012, well, where do I start?! With a single word that encapsulates all that I would like my year to mean and be. I have been pondering this special word for the past few weeks. Writing, thinking, listing, dreaming, assessing, believing and trusting what I am feeling within to discover my word. Some words I wrote down are; courage, authentic, aspire, happiness, allow, inspire, nurture, be, clarity, breathe, believe, calm, peace, being, allow, enjoy. In my mind I keep coming back to; just simply “be” or “being“. These words appeared multiple times on my lists too. I have sat on this for a week now and I am not sure if this makes much sense. Does “be” or “being” without adding multiple words encapsulate all I want for myself this year? I don’t know. But, rather than force a word, or pick something that sounds “right” or “identifiable”, I will just allow this little word “be” to stay with me for now. If you would like to establish your own special word for the year, you may like to pop over to Ali Edwards website as she initially came up with this lovely concept of selecting a word for each year that one can listen to, become aware of, meditate on, and learn from. She has generated many discussions and thoughts and words through this little yearly excercise.
I am beginning 2012 with a whole lot of enthusiasm and excitement as I began my first class of “Hello Soul, Hello Business” yesterday hosted by Kelly Rae Roberts and Beth Nicholls. WOW!!! Day 1, and my mind is alert, active, and inspired by a whole new way of thinking and planning. I couldn’t switch off to sleep last night. All I wanted to do was sit, write and continue to plan. This is going to be another super productive step forward for my art business this year and I can’t wait to start implementing all I learn. I have some very exciting projects and ideas that I want to launch and make reality.
Much of my enthusiasm and excitement this week has also come about because I got the opportunity to start painting again last week. I spent and entire day and night painting in my little studio, allowing my mind to simply be, enjoying my music and finding the rhythm within again. This felt SO good! The one thing I have really missed over my break was painting. I feel such freedom, such joy and passion when I paint. It is the one thing apart from yoga that really allows me to switch of that banter that often fills my mind, and to just be in the moment, in existence enjoying life for what it is, allowing what is within to come forth, and I guess to express itself upon my canvas.
Painting is what I dream about, think about constantly, and I’m always speculating on how I can squeeze in more time here and there to paint. I have felt a constant pull and need to paint. Such a need and desire to do something above all else, without procrastination and distraction is something I’ve not felt for many years. So much so that I felt quite overwhelmed toward the end of 2011.
I had by August 2011 established all these goals and achievements that I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. But, one of them was starting to shine above the rest. I have always drawn since I was very young, it’s come fairly naturally, I’ve enjoyed it and it is a “safe” hobby. In other words I know if I practice daily and draw regularly I can do it with ease and confidence. However, painting is new. I first started to paint in March of 2011. I essentially fell head over heals in love with it. Well, I don’t really wear heals, but I was incredibly drawn to paint!! It is not something I am trained in, I have not practiced this for any great length of time, and I have not done copious classes or reading or workshops on learning how to paint. It is not the safe option and it is not familiar. It is unknown, it is still to be developed, it’s raw, it’s exciting, it’s explorative, and I love it!
Only last night I became aware of my deep passion towards painting. I have heard of these “A-ha” moments for a while now and always wondered, yeah, ok, so how forced are these moments, are they something we “want to be”, or “want to achieve” a bit like a forecast of our wildest dreams? This concept felt very unnatural to me and I really didn’t think about the whole “a-ha” again because I didn’t necessarily understand it. But, last night at about 10pm I experienced my first “a-ha” moment. I suddenly felt clearer in my direction, certain of my goals for this year, sure of myself, and a kind of comfort and knowing within that I was heading in the right direction. I suddenly realised that I was trying to achieve too much last year. I was aiming to be both an illustrator and a painter. I wanted to push equally in both directions and build a folio of work in both mediums in the aim of building a stronger business and income. However, this wasn’t happening, I was struggling to devote equal time to both, and when I did sit down to draw up an illustration it wasn’t happening naturally or frequently enough. However, painting was something I could easily throw myself into at any moment. I will always draw, and I will continue to draw and illustrate daily in my sketchbook, and these drawings will still continue to influence and form a part of my paintings. Drawing will always be a big part of me. But, my passion lies in painting. Painting is what I want to share, and give to others as something to feel inspired by. I would love if my paintings evoked feelings of inspiration, happiness, comfort and also got others thinking and pondering themselves. Painting is the area I feel I should focus my attention and time on this year.
I have been attempting to write this very first blog entry for 2012 for the past 2 weeks now. It wasn’t flowing naturally as it normally would. I usally just write without a plan, but more from my heart and what I’m feeling, or thinking about at the time. I was stumped for what to write though. I had all the usual Christmas, New Year, beach visits, and holiday stuff in my head and photographed ready to post, but it seemed insignificant and boring to me. This blog is about me, my art, my thoughts, dreams, inspirations and discovery as I move forward little by little into simply being me.
May 2012 bring you much love, happiness and inspiration to follow your intuition and your inner being.