Self inflicted frustrations

Helloooo wow, I’ve just made my way through all of the beautiful comments I’ve received these past few days from you all – thankyou X  I feel so grateful to be able to do what I love, so it’s been a pleasure sharing this journey with you all.  Last weeks “Spreading our Wings” blog hop was a great success.  It was fun hopping around to see what everyone had produced; I am still hopping too!  I also jumped online last night after a busy weekend to discover I was feature artist of the day for The Brave Girls Club on Saturday.  That was such a nice surprise!  And thank you Kathy X  This is my birdie that was featured there.

Wow wasn’t last month just jam-packed!  It’s really thrown me off course and deadlines have not been met.  I’d planned to have all sketched illustrations drawn up properly ready to print, all card designs drawn up ready to print, test runs of cards completed and my own Etsy store up and open.  I also planned to have my range of greeting cards ready and delivered to Shop Ate Cafe & Store where Guy Mirabella has been so lovely in offering to sell them on my behalf.  I now feel like I’m back in highschool explaining why I haven’t handed in my assignment on time.  Michael said “you really shouldn’t worry and put yourself under pressure, Guy isn’t going to care”.  I said “I know he won’t mind, it’s up to me, but I said I’d have them ready by November and even though it’s my own deadline I want to look professional and keep to my timeframes.”

I must also share here that Guy’s new cookbook is now available.  It’s the most beautiful cook book I have seen to date and it has a recipe for one of my most favourite sweet things that he makes in his cafe; “Katherine Hepburn Brownies”, m mmm.  This book is definitely on my Christmas “wish” list (hope hubby or family are reading this x)

Anyway, yes so I didn’t get all I wanted / needed to get done in October.  Humph!  I’ve been defeated and been quite down on myself this past week.  Really frustrated, likely grumpy out of the blue too, which usually also results in teary at the drop of a hat.  My husband Michael has been lovely saying don’t put so much pressure on yourself.  This was after he realised why I was so grumpy and emotional.  “You can only do what you can physically do Liza.”  I crashed out a couple of times last week too, falling asleep solidly for 13 hrs!  I just had October all planned out and ready to go so everything would be completed at the start of November in time for the early birds wanting to get organised for Christmas with cards and presents.  Then Tully’s date for his operation came up, so I lost 2 weeks there, and our MYOB files for our Architectural business was completely overhauled and I had to learn how to enter and re-enter stuff in time for BAS at the end of the month.  So my 4 weeks of art productivity went out the door.  So frustrating.  I felt completely defeated.  Defeated by myself possibly.  The good news is I did complete my new illustration for the blog hop in time.  I also got online and set up Liza Zeni on Etsy.  Yes it’s there ready and waiting.  I now just have to upload my work to begin selling it.  I have all the illustrations I wanted completed and just 2 more Christmas cards to draw (tonight).  Gift tags are sorted.  Envelopes, bags and beautiful paper to print on has been purchased.  I’m almost there…probably just a couple of weeks behind.  I think I’m going to have to learn over time that I am also number one a Mum, number two a wife, number three a friend, and that I also have other obligations and all these things will take time away from my art and I need to learn how to juggle this.  But more importantly I need to learn to be patient, to enjoy the moments in each day, to enjoy each step of this fabulous creative journey.  I did make sure I did that this weekend.  I spent quality time with my family and friends.  I was exhausted last night, but my heart was certainly replenished and I was happy again. 

I know many of you reading this have your own deadlines and commitments at the moment.  Such a stupidly busy time of the year.  I just want to say Christmas isn’t the end of the world.  Try and enjoy every moment of what you’re doing and more importantly enjoy your family and friends.  Have fun, but enjoy!

Liza xxx

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14 thoughts on “Self inflicted frustrations

  1. Oh Liza..I understand. Those are the only words I can offer you right now. I just sat down and divided my next week into time blocks with specific tasks for each. No spontaneity here! Need to get some stuff done. If you are all happy and healthy then all is good…everything else will come in its own time. Julie

    • Hi Liz.
      Careful not to burn out my little cherub. I know the feeling of just wanting to be creative and produce, but don’t drive yourself to the point of exhaustion!! It’s hard to be patient. I look forward to more time to pursue my dreams when the kids go to school. Seems like a lifetime away, but it’s not really. I’m not good at being patient either. Loving your enthusiasm though!!

      • Oh Heid, you and I are so very similar in this sense aren’t we hun! I was driving myself to the point of exhaustion and didn’t even realise it was happening until last week. Patience, hmmm can you hear Michael laughing?!!! Yes I am learning though and Tully has been my gift to resolve that in this life (o: You’re great in looking to down the track when lil ones are at school, I’m not even in that mind set, I’m just so caught up in the moment of now and all this creative energy and creative ideas that are spinning around in my head. I feel I just need to let it all out. Enthusiasm definitely isn’t a problem so maybe when you and I get together again we can do a friendly swap a little enthusiasm for you and a little more patience for me LOL! Love you mate and can’t wait to catch up…call let’s make a date xxx

    • Thankyou Jules (o: it’s such a simple message isn’t it to just enjoy the here and now, I don’t know why it’s so easy to revert back to the thoughts of what the future will be and worrying about that instead of enjoy now. You are very very right lovely, thankyou x

  2. Try not to be so hard on yourself! After owning a retail business for 20 years, I can tell you, the only way you can completely be happy in your professional life, is if your family is happy…Sounds like you are doing what you need to do to make that happen. The rest will be there when you can get to it.

    • Thankyou Janet, I was being total unrealistic and need to stop being inpatient with my own expectations of myself. Life’s so different now with a young family, and you’d think that I’d completely go that by now 3 years on with 2 gorgeous lil boys, but no, I’m a bit slow on the realisation fact that my life is no longer going to be programmable and run on schedule as it used to be (o: You are so very right in saying that if you’re family is happy then you’ll be happy professionally, I can see how this would be entirely true. Thankyou xxx

  3. Liza,

    Celebrate yourself! You are doing so much! Michael is right! You accomplished a lot! You should be very proud of yourself!!! you will get it done! One little flap of your wings at a time! We are cheering for you!!!

    • Thankyou Kris. I’m proud of where I’ve come in the last 6 months, I guess I just have so many things that I wanted to achieve by the end of this year. I must say though that perhaps I was quite unrealistic in some of my assumptions of what was achievable with a young family and the unknowns that pop up from time to time and disrupt our task lists. I like that “onle little flap of your wings at a time” – I might just write that down and stick it up above my computer and desk I think!!! Thankyou sweetie xxx

  4. I hear you! So glad that you were able to take some time to relax and reflect. So often, that is what I need and when I put things in perspective, I find that what I was believing about a situation caused me stress, not the reality! (When I am frustrated, afraid, etc. I am learning to ask myself what am I thinking? Is it true? If not, I find out what the truth is, believe that and find I can do this, whatever this is!) xo

    • Yes it was definitely what I needed and gave me some time and distance to get some perspective on my over zelous expectations of myself. I think I’m often my worst enemy in that sense. Thankyou what you wrote makes a lot of sense (o: xxx

    • Hello Isabel (o: thankyou I am starting to remember to ease the pressure on myself and just really enjoy what I am doing. I completed two more Christmas designs last night which I really enjoyed doing. Really lovely to have you here. Liza xxx

  5. Hi Liza, I know how you feel about wanting to get everything up and running, but please take care of yourself! Michael is right in saying that you can only do what you can. I think you have made such enormous strides already so please dont be hard in yourself. This journey is a bit of a roller coaster ride isn’t it? Please look after yourself and have fun!!

    • I know it is a long continuous journey with ups n downs. I think the only downs I have are not getting all I want to do creatively done and out of my system. It’s really incredible all that I want to give and do and I havn’t experienced such enthusiasm and constant inspiration and ideas for something ever before. Think I’ve definitely found my love, apart from Michael and my two boys heheha! I have realised the reality that I just need to go at a realistic pace though and saviour every step of the journey xxx

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